Aren’t you scared?
I cannot count how many times we have heard this question. We usually replay something like: Nah… Maybe little bit. Don’t know… But is it true?
Firstly I need to mention this will be only my (Dasha’s) thoughts and opinions because I think Jakub is simply fine. But I am not. I am worried almost all the time.
My No. 1 fear is a fear of heights. I am scared of heights and all fast downward movements – downhill skiing, overhang climbing, abseiling, jumping into water, downhill mountain biking and so on. Depending how much is possible to crash my heart beats faster, I can’t breathe, I cry or I just can’t move. No joking. I have experienced all of them.
Fortunately after couple of minutes I realize I have to calm down. I know that I am in tricky situation but I also definitely know I have previously managed something similar so I have to move on and get over it. Or get off the bike. However, there is always something to do.
I suppose there will be many situations like this on our journey. Therefore I joined a Women’s 5-weeks MTB course Mission Wow here in Wanaka last month. Getting experience is the only way to deal with my fears and push my limits.
Number two is a fear of unknown and uncertainty. When I hear strange noises in the night or when I go somewhere, where I have not been before and don’t know what to expect. I am worried about everything which I can’t plan. Sometimes it is just a moment, a feeling which is gone in second. Sometimes I can’t sleep, I am anxious or I am worried all the time we are going somewhere.
In this situation I have to name what exactly makes me feel like that and why. Then I usually realize that there is a solution what to do. Or I sometimes realize that there is nothing to worry about because it could be worse and this one is actually pretty fine.
I read a very interesting interview with mountaineer R. Messner about fears a couple weeks ago. He said that when he is scared, he gathers all his experience, knowledges and power and compares it with his fear. And then the fear gets smaller…
The journey is becoming my self-therapy. It forces me to improve my skills and find my limits. And I have also been coping many freaky situations with a calmer mind because I know that there can be more challenging moments later.
And why I am writing about it?
Just admit (to myself and to everyone) that I am worried and I will be worried but I can fight against it.
Say that a fear is natural and important but to calm down and do something is even more important.
Here are two quotes which help me to deal with my fears:
A head full of fears has no space for dreams.
If the ocean can calm itself so you can too.